This Is Me.

1: My Current State.

I looked at myself in the mirror last night, i was dressed all smart in my best suit. There was no reason for this, who was I trying to impress? It hit me hours later. My Autistic mind had allowed a new emotion threw, Joy. For the past 6 months I have experienced both joy and annoyance threw the same creator. Her name I will not mention but instead a brief description shall be given. Her smile is like the first sip of water after a long journey, i could go months without happiness and she could smile once and it would all have been worth it. Hers are the only eyes i will look into, they are like blue crystals that shine brighter than any star in the sky. But the most beautiful thing about her is her body, though she would disagree, i don't care. I have fallen in love with her, though i know she would never feel the same. Why would she? We have nothing in common, and we fall out all the time. I am not the kind of guy she wants, she wants the good guy but craves the bad boy. Whereas I am neither yet both. For her i have changed my way of acting and in return she has not done anything to even show me her interest in my being there. 

Now comes what i fear is the final chapter in our friendship, for you see, I fear she has become bored with me. Is it that easy for her to just delete me from her life? I wish I could tell her how I feel. I wish I was in her league.